Navigating Your Career: Don’t follow your passion, cultivate it!

What does “follow your passion” actually mean? And, is it good career advice?

Your friends seek you out for financial and investment advice: They came across their dream house.  The price tag is a lot steeper than they had earmarked or could afford, but they love the house.  Do you ….

  1. It’s easy an one. You encourage them to follow their passion and just go for it!
  2. Build out a financial plan, and help identify the pros and cons associated with the purchase.
  3. Reframe and add perspective by looking at the broader context of their “dream life” rather than just focusing on the “dream house”.

I can’t answer for you, but I am willing to guess that you’re probably not going to encourage them to toss a coin and just go for it.  After all, buying a home is one of the biggest (monetary) investments we make in our lives.

Now think about career advice that you’ve either given or received over the last few years.  Do the three magic words, FOLLOW YOUR PASSION come to mind?  Your career is an investment in YOU and your professional life …. It’s much more significant than the purchase of a house.  Yet, for over a decade, “follow your passion” has been the overarching theme when it comes to career advice offered.

What does “follow your passion” really mean, and is it actually good advice?! 

Todd Henry, author of “Die Empty: Unleash Your Best Work Everyday“, points out that we often look at passion from only one lens – “what can I get“, which Henry likens to an “I am the centre of the universe” mindset.  However, our careers are essentially about service, to which the question we should be asking is “not what can I get” but instead, “what can I give” and/or “how can I contribute“. 

CEO and co-founder of 80000 Hours, Benjamin Todd shares some career advice in the TedXTalk, “To find work you love, don’t follow your passion” where he encourages youth to “do what’s valuable” rather than follow their passion.

Although Todd focuses on value from an altruistic perspective, it is also very much applicable from an economic “law of supply and demand” perspective.  Passion can only take you so far. You need to have the skills, knowledge and tools to move ahead. You also need to be cognizant of the “demand side” of the equation, and be able to translate your passion and skills into value.

Passion is the result of excellence, not its source” – Cal Newport

The most well known advocate of “follow your passion” career advice was Steve Jobs. Interestingly, Jobs was not passionate about technology prior to founding Apple. What he was passionate about was Zen Buddhism, calligraphy, western history and dance …. Had Steve Jobs followed his passion, he would have ended up doing something very different!  Jobs didn’t follow his passion, instead he “cultivated his passion“.

Cultivating Passion:

The new thinking on the topic of career advice is about “Finding Your Flow” and cultivating passion. Basically, this entails identifying activities we love to do and skills we excel at, and then matching them to a wide variety of interests, career paths and jobs.

For one, it’s actually a simpler …. personally, I always found it stressful to articulate that “one passion” to underpin my career on.  The real win is that as you go through this approach, you will start to discover opportunities that you would have not otherwise considered for yourselfFinally, focusing on how we add value and contribute can be very empowering …. it truly motivates and helps you elevate your game to that next level!  In other words, it cultivates passion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mastering Resilience: Thriving in Disruption

Resilient people immediately look at a problem and say, “What’s the solution to this? How can I learn from it?”

resiliency weatherMother nature has been testing our resiliency this spring …. Winter storm alerts, freezing rain, ice storms, flooding in the streets, high winds, and foggy days!

Our weekly Monday morning “goal setting” group meeting this past week mirrored the dreary weather outlook.  The usually upbeat, high-energy and goal-oriented group was subdued and disenchanted.  Forget a coffee jolt …. What we needed was a dose of inspiration!  As a result, the focus of our roundtable discussion evolved from our usual weekly goal setting (which we still did) to include ideas and best practices that help build resiliency.

During the session, I couldn’t help but to reflect back to a leadership-psychometric test I had taken a few years ago.  Interestingly, it revealed that my very strength also happened to be one of the biggest challenges I faced as a leader.

You easily inspire and motivate those around you; your high energy drive and charisma can light up a room” …. Then came the kicker ….. “however, because those around you are drawn to and inspired by your energy, any downward periods in your energy levels and motivation can have a spiralling negative effect on your team“.

No one can be “ON” all the time, we all face adversity and experience periods of both peaks and valleys in our every day lives.  The solution was not simply “putting on a fake smile” or signing up for acting classes.  It needed – I needed – to be authentic!  From that moment forward, building and maintaining resiliency became a key personal and professional development goal of mine.

Resilience (noun) or Resiliency (noun)

“Able to recover quickly from misfortune; able to return to original form after being bent, compressed, or stretched out of shape. A human ability to recover quickly from disruptive change, or misfortune without being overwhelmed or acting in dysfunctional or harmful ways.”  — Al Seibert, Resiliency Center

In his best selling book, “The Resiliency Advantage“, Al Siebert describes resilient people as:

  • flexible, adapt to new circumstances quickly and thrive in constant change;
  • they expect to bounce back from adversity and feel confident that they will;
  • they have a knack of creating good luck out of circumstances that many others see as bad luck;
  • they are adept at seeing things from another person’s point of view.

Given the pace of change that’s taking place in all aspects of our lives, resiliency and adaptability is no longer a “nice-to-have”, but a core foundational skillAs leaders, we not only need to ensure we are resilient, but we also need to ensure we build resilient and highly adaptive teams.

Building Resilience

resilience

Mother Nature may be having a good laugh at our expense, but I’m not letting a winter storm in spring break me!  Here are some tips from my “resilience playbook” that I’ve come to rely on.

1.  Changing the Narrative:

This is my “glass half full” outlook.  I want to emphasize that this is NOT about ignoring stress and adversity and pretending it’s not there … trust me, I am very much a realist.  However, rather than focusing on the problem itself, I try to “reframe” it and instead focus on solutions.  As a leader, this is a non-negotiable for me, as it’s my responsibility to set the direction and build a culture of looking forward.

    2.   Be Prepared:

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails” — William Arthur Ward

We cannot control change, eliminate stress and wish-away adversity, however, we can prepare ourselves.  Maybe it’s the former Girl Scout in me, but I work very hard at making preparation and planning a “habit”, rather than an outcome.  I set weekly goals for myself – both professionally and personally – and devise my action plan to achieve these goals (depending on the goal, this can take the form of a simply mental outline or a formal action plan).  It has now become second-nature to me, that when adversity does surprise me, I quickly revert to reframing the issue, establishing a vision/goal and an action plan towards achieving it.

  3.   Volunteering in the Community:

For me, volunteering in the community and challenging myself “outside the office” has always played an integral role in my professional development.  Not only is it inspiring and motivating to help others thrive, the learnings that I have been able to take-away from my volunteer activities have far outweighed my contributions.  I’ve been able to gain new experiences and “build my resume” through community work in ways that I would never be able to do had I not volunteered …. and it’s these experiences that have given me the confidence to “bounce back” when adversity strikes.

I also encourage those on my team to volunteer with organizations and causes close to their heart as well … I make time during our feedback/coaching discussions to learn about their volunteer activities, and incorporate this community building into their professional development plans as well.

  4.   Self Care:

One of the most important facet to building resilience is self-care and specifically, our physical well-being.  This entails healthy eating, regular exercise and sleeping well.  We always admire the resilience of children …. When they fall, they get up, brush themselves off, and get back to it! We can learn a great deal from children. Look no further than a classroom, where recess (mental and physical break from the curriculum) is not only encouraged, it’s mandatory!

As adults, we often feel time-crunched and overwhelmed with our stress …. I acknowledge that I have been guilty of foregoing physical activity to stay in the office and work.  However, this strategy usually works against us.  According to a research study out of Princeton University, “physical activity reorganizes the brain so that it’s response to stress is reduced and anxiety is less likely to interfere with normal brain function”.  Today, irrespective of how overwhelmed and busy I feel, I carve out time for exercise, which for me, usually takes the form of walking daily and attending dance classes …. after which I almost always feel more energized, confident and ready to take on challenges!

   5.  Celebrate:

“Work hard, play hard”!  Make the time to celebrate successes, and as leaders, make sure you always take the time to recognize those on your team for their successes!  In fact, why not “celebrate failure” rather than dwelling on our failures?!  Take some time to reflect on what we’ve learned from the failure …. and in doing so, you’re essentially “preparing yourself and your team” for future success the next time around!  And while you’re at it, have a good laugh!  Laughing truly is the best medicine for stress!

   6.   Be Present:

This one is a new one for me, and I will be honest, I used to laugh and dismiss people who talked to me about meditation.  I’m no longer laughing!  In a nutshell, mindful meditation is about focusing on the present, rather than dwelling on what went wrong (past) or what could go wrong (future) …. and by doing so, it becomes much easier to see things from other perspectives and focus on solutions rather than problems.  Meditation may not be for everyone, but I encourage you to give it a try and see if it’s right for you.

  7.   Be Authentic:

Finally, resilience is about being authentic and showing up as your “real self” …. and by that, I mean perfection is NOT required!  When you accept and forgive yourself, you’ll find that you no will longer dwell on the “what if’s”, and instead will embrace learning and exploring new ideas and approaches for moving forward.

I’ve shared some activities that I do (and recommend) to build resiliency.  I’m taking some of my own advice now and heading outside for a walk …. Resiliency does pay off, the sun is shining and it’s a beautiful spring morning! 🙂

Feel free to share your tips and best practices …. I’d love to hear them!

 

Do you see what I see?! Our unconscious minds at work.

We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.

About 10 years ago, a couple of my best friends and I ventured to New York City for a fabulous “girls weekend”!  I have so many special memories from that trip.  One memory that has stayed with me was an encounter we had with a homeless gentleman on the subway platform.  Like many other homeless people, this gentleman was walking along the platform and asking subway riders for spare change.  When he approached us, he stopped, looked down at the money he had collected and offered it to my friend …. my friend happens to be in a wheelchair.  Rather than seeing this beautiful, intelligent and very successful professional young lady, he saw her wheelchair and he incorrectly assumed that she needed the money more than he did!  What you see is not always what you get.  There are so many layers to people, things and experiences, and we need to be aware of our blind-spots and what may lie in our periphery. And while it’s easy to dismiss this story and attribute it to the ignorance of a poor homeless man, we all have conscious and unconscious biases that impact our perceptions/beliefs and influence the decisions we make.  This homeless gentleman was so focused on my friend’s disability that he couldn’t see her many capabilities.  Moreover, if he was able to see the full picture, he would have noticed that my friend and I were both able to “walk” from point A to point B …. HOW we accomplished this was different …. whereas she relied on her wheelchair to walk/move, I relied on my legs.

(Note: I used the example of physical disability, in my story, for illustration purposes. However, any and all other examples of diversity – gender, cultural, age, etc. – are relevant).

Unconscious or implicit bias happens by our brains making incredibly quick judgments and assessments of people and situations without us realizing.  These biases are influenced by our background, cultural environment and personal experiences.  We may not even be aware of these views and opinions, or be aware of their full impact and implications. [ECU: Equality Challenge Unit]

Unconscious Bias at Play:

There is no good or evil when it comes to implicit bias …. We ALL, each and every one of us, have unconscious biases!  To prove this, here are some fun examples of our unconscious minds at play.

FrogOrHorse.2What do you see when you look at the picture on the left?  I first came across this picture while attending a workshop on unconscious bias.  When this was presented on the screen, all I could see was a frog?  The facilitator of the workshop told us that we should be able to see a horse, and I will admit, I could not see it!   It wasn’t until we rotated the picture that I saw the horse …. I needed to change my perspective, and once I did, I saw the image very differently.  Today, irrespective of how this picture is presented, I am able to see both a horse and a frog.  Thus, although we all have implicit biases, if we acknowledge and accept that we are susceptible to unconscious biases, we can indeed manage these biases, and open ourselves to new perspectives and outlooks.

Now, I invite you to view this You-Tube video from a workshop on Diversity and Inclusion that was facilitated by Scott Horton, a diversity consultant with Delta Concepts Consulting.  Specifically, play along with audience for the two games that Scott leads which is 2 minutes into the video, and then at the 3:45 minute markerScott Horton: Fun with the Unconscious Mind

As you can see, it’s very easy to get trapped by implicit biases and prejudices.  Intellectually, we know that these stereotypes are not accurate, yet when ideas are repeated over and over, they become ingrained into our subconscious.  One way to manage these biases is to embrace diversity, and open ourselves to differing ideas, experiences and people.

The Importance Diversity and Inclusion:

“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” — Anais Nin

The tolerance scaleTolerance Scale, developed by Korn Ferry and shown on the right, describe 5 different rankings for how we respond to others.  You’ll note, that how we place others on this scale is as much – if not more – a function of ourselves, as it is about the person.  In other words, our biases are at play!  Now imagine yourself as leader/manager, and think about the implications that our biases – both conscious and unconscious – have on recruitment (who we hire) and performance appraisals, as well as simple everyday work interaction.

Recruitment is particularly vulnerable to biases.  Why?  Well, when we hire, we look to solve immediate or near-term needs.  In these situations, we tend to skew in favour of homogeneity (“in-the-box” candidate), as we want to avoid the disruption that different perspectives, experience, background and work style may bring in the near term.   Thus, it’s very important that the recruiter/interviewer/hiring manager be cognizant of their unconscious biases and tendencies, and keep an open mind during the recruitment process.

It’s for this reason – our inherent biases and resultant tolerance scale with which we respond to each other – that diversity, on it’s own, is not enough.  Today, most organizations and leaders understand that they need to embrace a diverse and inclusive culture.  According to Korn Ferry, “if diversity is “the mix” then inclusion is making the mix “work” by leveraging the wealth of knowledge, insights and perspectives in an open, trusting and diverse workplace”It’s inclusiveness that moves us from tolerance and acceptance to appreciation.

Inclusive leadership is about giving everyone the opportunity to be heard and feel appreciated.  It’s about valuing both differences, and also commonality to ensure no one stands out too far from the rest.  It’s also about creating a sense of belonging for all and ensuring all team members are engaged and feel “safe to speak up” and share ideas.  After all, the greatest innovators in the world are those who have made their mark not in spite of their differences and the barriers they’ve had to overcome, but because of it!

Diversity and inclusion is not just the right thing to do for a business …. it’s the smart thing to do!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ready, set … collaborate!!

Collaboration is the new competition! When you think collaboration, the world will look a little different and you’ll begin to see opportunities all over the place!

If you’re anything like me, you’re glued to your screens (be it television screens or your devices) and caught up in the excitement of the Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea.  After all, the Olympics represent the ultimate of all sports competitions, bringing together the best athletes from around the world.

Through the years, sports has provided us with many valuable lessons and inspirational stories of the true spirit of competition, and the dedication and drive it takes to succeed.  The Olympics (and sports, in general) also provides us with examples of how collaboration can elevate competition to that next level.  Although the athletes compete against each other for medals and represent countries with differing political values, they are unified around a common vision: the Olympic spirit. And this year’s Winter Olympics is extra-special in that it has brought together South Korea and North Korea, two warring nations, who are competing in these Olympics in Pyeongchang as a “United Korea” team!

Inspiring Olympic Stories of Collaboration:

Laditorino olympics 2006es Cross-Country Sprint Relay, 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy:  Canadian skier, Sara Renner, was leading the race when the unthinkable happened – her ski pole snapped.  The Finn skier skied past her, then the Swede and then the Norwegian … seemingly gone was hopes for a medal for Canada of any kind.  However, Norwegian’s Director of Cross-Country Ski Program, Bjornar Hakensmoen, did something remarkable.  He took his own ski pole and gave it to Renner.  Yes, the size of the pole was too big, but nonetheless, this gesture allowed Renner to reach and tag her relay partner, Beckie Scott, who was able to make up a lot of ground.  The race was thrilling with Sweden narrowly beating out Canada for the gold medal.  The Norwegians finished 4th.  Now you may be thinking that the Norwegian skiers and their fans would have been outraged with Hakensmoen for costing them their dream of an Olympic medal …. however, that was not the case at all! In fact, it’s not uncommon for opposing teams to help out with equipment malfunctions in cross-country skiing …  true sportsmanship at it’s best!  And this was the case during the 2014 Olympics in Sochi, where this time it was a Canadian coach who “came to the rescue” of a Russian skier whose skis had broken, thereby allowing the Russian to finish the race.

Even in the “dog eat dog” world of track and field, we have seen truly beautiful examples of collaboration.  Owens_and_LongThe 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin, Germany started out as the tense, politically-charged “Nazi Olympics” but will forever be remembered as the Olympics of Jesse Owens.  Owens won a then unprecedented record four gold medals (100m, 200m, relay, long jump) for the U.S.  During the qualifying rounds for the long jump, Owens had fouled his first two attempts. Facing elimination from the competition if he did not post a qualifying mark on his third attempt, Owens received a piece of advice from German long-jumper, Luz Long.  Long suggested to Owens that he move back the start of his run-up so he would take off well before the long jump board.  Owens easily qualified and went on to win the gold medal, with Long taking the silver.  Jesse Owens later wrote: “What I remember most was the friendship I struck with Luz Long.  He was my strongest rival, yet it was he who advised me to adjust my run-up in the qualifying round, and thereby helped me win“.

Collaboration is the New Competition

collaboration opportunities

Edward deBono noted that “companies that focus solely on competition will die, while those that focus on value creation will thrive“.  Apple’s story is proof-point to this theory.

If we want to move forward, see Apple healthy and prosperous again, we have to let go of a few things here. We have to let go of this notion that for Apple to win, Microsoft has to lose. We have to embrace the notion that for Apple to win, Apple has to do a really good job. And if people are going to help us, that’s great … And if we screw up and don’t do a good job, it’s not someone else’s fault, it’s our fault. This era of setting this up as a competition between Apple and Microsoft is over.  This is about getting Apple healthy, and this is about Apple being able to make incredibly great contributions to the industry.” – Steve Jobs, CEO Apple in August 1997

The above quote, which foreshadowed Steve Job’s “Think Different Campaign“, marked a dramatic shift in strategy for Apple … one away from a singular focus on it’s competition (namely Microsoft) and towards a focus on “good design” and intuitive customer interface/experience.  At the time, Apple was on the verge of bankruptcy, losing $1.5B over an 18 month period, and Steve Jobs realized that change was in order.  He shocked the industry by announcing a “strategic alliance” with Microsoft, which included a $150mm investment in Apply by Microsoft.  20 years later (August 2017), Apple’s market cap was $815B and Microsoft’s was $561B …. both companies successful in their own right!

Competitive Mindset = can foster inward focus; how are we doing vis-à-vis others
Collaborative (Team) Mindset = external focus to the customer; how are we contributing towards the company’s value proposition and for our customers.

Our customers are loyal to us right until the second somebody offers them a better service. And I LOVE that … Its super motivating! If you’re competitor focused, you have to wait until there is a competitor doing something. Being customer-focused allows you to be more pioneering.” – Jeff Bezos, CEO Amazon

Few with argue that Amazon, the company that started out as an online book store, has completely disrupted and reinvented the retail industry. Amazon was ranked in 2017 as the 4th most valuable company as measured by market capitalization, after Apple, Alphabet/Google and Microsoft (Note: as of February 2018, Amazon surpassed Microsoft into #3 spot). Today, Amazon is responsible for about 40% of all online retail sales in the U.S. Amazon’s secret lies in it’s obsession not for beating the competition, but for the customer. Amazon has become a master at anticipating what customers want – sometimes, even before they know they want it!

Competition is not a bad thing, and no one would disagree that the competitive fires run high at Amazon.  Healthy competition IS a good thing, it breeds resilience and is necessary part of our DNA. According to Ashley Merryman, co-author “Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing“, competition drives creativity. “Whether professional musicians or school children, studies have shown that competition fuels creativity and improves quality of work. More than that, the skill that makes you a great competitor, such as the willingness to push boundaries, trust one’s instincts, problem solve – those are the same skills needed for innovation“. However, the key is to not get overly wrapped up in the competition, but rather use it as a lever to better yourself …. Competition coupled with collaboration allows you to forge new opportunities, and not just compete for existing ones.

olympics media collaboration

Returning to the Olympic theme, Canada’s broadcasting industry, which is dominated by a few giant oligopolies, provide us with a great example of how collaboration has led to a win-win scenario for all, and most importantly, for the Canadian consumer.

In today’s day and age, consumers want access to all events in real time on a broadcasting format that works for them .…. only collaboration can make this happen! Canada’s public broadcaster, the CBC, has secured the broadcast rights for the Olympics in 2018, 2020 and beyond. The network will partner with Bell Media (owner of CTV, it’s primary network rival) and Rogers Media.  In the announcement, Jeffrey Orridge, Executive Director at CBC Sports shared, “we are collaborating on the production. We are going to share airwaves, we’re going to share technical resources, we’re going to share our expertise, and we’re going to share our talent.”  For the 2018 Winter Olympics, CBC and it’s partners, are slated to air 871 hours of programming on conventional TV and an additional 2,500 hours of coverage will be streamed to devices …. virtually every moment of the Games will be available to watch by all Canadians, when and how they choose to watch it!  Another Olympic illustration of how through collaboration we can elevate “our game” and create something bigger (and better) than the sum of what each can create on their own …. or in sports-terms, put together a gold medal worthy value proposition!

Speaking of gold medals, the Winter Olympics awaits …. Go Canada Go! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Year, New Beginnings: Navigating Transition!

Transition and uncertainty are not the end, but the start of a new beginning. Today is my tomorrow – I have a blank page to work with and it’s up to me to set goals and be the author of my destiny!
Happy New Year … Here’s to new beginnings in 2018 and enjoying the journey ahead!

Never has a new year truly equated to new beginnings for me as 2018. For the first time in my professional (and academic) life, I start the new year with a completely blank sheet of paper!

Change and transition is definitely scary, but it’s also exhilarating and empowering.  I am the author of my 2018 story …. it won’t just be my story to tell, but I will be crafting it from scratch!  When navigating through uncertainty and transition, goal-setting (“new year’s resolutions”) takes on new importance.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into visible.” — Tony Robbins

 

1. START WITH A HIGHER PURPOSE:

When you’re in career-transition, you answer to yourself.  There are no formal performance metrics, quarterly reviews, sales targets, etc. to track against.  There’s also no one to hold you accountable to your goals and resolutions, other than yourself …. it’s no wonder people fall short and give up on new year’s resolutions.

One of my favourite gifts that I received last year was a “gratitude journal” that a friend gave me.  Initially, I started writing 5 to 10 things that I was thankful for each day.  Eventually, I evolved journal to also include a 1 or 2 “contributions” that I made in the day … be it to the contributions to the community, loved ones or to myself.  I started to notice the correlation between the two entries ….. it helped me understand “my purpose.

This purpose in life – ensuring that I live each and everyday with a goal of making a contribution to myself or others – has been vital for me in managing through this period of professional transition.  It’s helped me stay focused, disciplined, self-motivated and energized.  Purpose and clarity of values provide us with a compass to navigate an uncertain future.

In today’s vastly changing world, where managing through uncertainty is necessary for success, more and more organizations are crafting “purpose statements” to inspire employees and express the organization’s impact and contribution on others.

2. JUST DO IT:

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” — Mark Twain

Another goal that I’ve set for myself for 2018 is to “just do” …. not just look to the future, but actually move forward!  To pursue progress instead of chasing perfection.  I know it seems simplistic and intuitive, but it’s so easy to be paralyzed by fear of failure or rejection.

“I hope this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world.  You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.” — Neil Gaiman

This transition is my opportunity to go for it, and pursue challenges and new goals.  However, it’s not enough just “to do”.   It’s also important to track these activities against our goals/purpose to ensure we’re on the right course, and know if we need to pivot and adjust along the way.

3. BE PRESENT:

This next goal is a key one for me: “Truly be present”.  There’s the old adage that the problem in communication often occurs because “we often listen to reply, rather than listen to truly understand” …. Well, the same can be said for how we live our life.  Sometimes we are so focused on how the particular activity or event leads to our goal or what learnings we should be gathering, that we actually inhibit growth.

As I’ve shared with you from previous blogs, I am taking ballroom/latin dance lessons – something brand new to me, with which I have absolutely no background or experience in.  It drives my dance teacher crazy sometimes because I’m not always present, even though I think I am.  For example, when he’s teaching a new step or choreography, we usually start by watching first … simple enough, right?  Well, not in my case!  Often, as I am “watching”, what I am truly doing is trying to guess where this all leads, that in the end, I completely miss the actual step.  So when it’s time for me to repeat the step … I’m a complete blank.  As it turns out, I am so focused on what I expect “the learnings” should be, that I miss out on the actual experience, and inhibit my learning and progress.

enjoy the journeyYou can’t solve for a problem or attain a goal in the future, if you don’t truly understand or experience it today!

Yes, a GPS can provide you with directions to your destination, but unless you are present and take in the route along the way, you’ll not only always be dependant on that GPS to guide you – but more importantly, you’ll miss out on the beauty and the experience of the journey!

 

4. PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION:

Understanding your strengths and building (and maintaining!) your self-confidence is very important in times of transition.  What’s equally – if not more – important is practicing “self-compassion”.  Self-compassion is NOT self-pity, nor is it shrugging off ownership and responsibility for our weaknesses and failures.

Dr. Kristen Neff has identified Three Elements of Self Compassion:

  • Self Kindness vs. Self Judgment – Accepting (and acknowledging) our mistakes, and focusing on what we can learn from our mistakes rather than being self-critical and judging ourselves for not being perfect.
  •  Common Humanity vs. Isolation – Being open about our vulnerabilities and evaluating ourselves with honesty and objectivity.
  • Mindfulness vs. Over Identification – Understand that everyone makes mistakes and encounters failures and roadblocks along the way.

Self-compassion builds resiliency.  Without the pressure to be perfect and view mistakes and weaknesses as negative, it’s easier to accept feedback and criticism …. and thus, it’s easier to move forward, improve and stick-handle roadblocks as they come along.

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day.  A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” — Christopher K. Germer

the adventure ahead

Who knows what the future holds, but I’m going to put a stake in the ground and not be afraid to declare 2018 as my year!  Today is my tomorrow …. It’s up to me to shape it and be the author of my destiny, and enjoy the journey along the way!

Happy New Year … Make 2018 YOUR year, too!

 

 

Pay It Forward: Redefining Leadership

I love this time of year!  I love everything about Christmas and the holiday season …. the  decorations, the smell of cookies baking in the oven, the music and merriment!  It’s the time of year where we are all children at heart: in it’s simplest form, it’s a celebration of the child within us!

For many, it can also be the most stressful time of year.  We create unrealistic expectations and build it up to be more than it really needs to be.  The holiday season becomes a check-list of tasks and “chores” that we need to tick off, and we get so caught up in our “to do” lists that we lose touch of the child-like wonderment of the season and the true meaning of Christmas.

The same is true for leadership …. We often overcomplicate what it truly means to be a leader!

One of my favourite TedxTalk on leadership is Drew Dudley’s “Leading with Lollipops” (in fact, this video is one of the inspirations behind this blog series and my own perspective on leadership).  In the TedxTalk,  Drew shares a funny story from his life, and calls on all of us to celebrate leadership as an everyday act of improving each other’s lives.

We all have the ability to lead and inspire others through simple every day “random acts of kindness”.   When we over-complicate what it is to be a leader, we give ourselves an excuse not to expect it every day from ourselves and from others.

In the words of Colin Powell:

“Being kind doesn’t mean being soft or a wuss.  Kindness is not a sign of weakness.  It is a sign of confidence.  If you have developed a reputation for kindness and consideration then even the most unpleasant decisions will go down easier because everyone will understand why you are doing what you are doing.  They realize your decisions must be necessary and is not arbitrary or without empathy.”

 

kindness slide 2

As we head into the chaos of the holiday season and embark on the new year ahead, let’s redefine leadership and Pay-It-Forward for 2018: Make time in our every day for simple, every-day random acts of kindness, and also take the time to seek out and tell others when they’ve inspired us! 

 

 

 

 

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You’re how old?! Sshhhh…!!!

It’s attitude and character of a person that define cultural fit and leadership capabilities, and NOT the date stamped on their birth certificate!  

Oh to be that age?  You may be thinking, “what age is she referring to” …. Truth be told, I wish I knew the answer to that very question, myself!

Conscious or unconscious, ageism is the most common bias in the workplace today, and is especially true for leadership roles!  Interestingly, let’s look at the key attributes of a good leader:

  • Integrity
  • Courage
  • Vision
  • Judgment
  • Passion
  • Empathy
  • Emotional Intelligence

Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t seem to find an “expiry date” on any of these attributes?  I also don’t know of a boilerplate “start-date” where these qualities kick-in either.   Yet, many of us find ourselves creatively engineering our resumes and talent profiles in order to “mask” our age and mitigate against prevailing age-biases that may exist.

“Some people say they have 20 years, when in reality they have 1 years experience repeated 20 times” – Stephen Covey (to Richie Norton when Norton asked if he was too young to train older executives for Covey)

For me, like so many others, I took on the role of a leader well before my first job as a “manager” …. I was a teacher assistant for the kindergarten classes when I was a youngster in elementary school, school-bus monitor and Red-Cross trained babysitter in my neighbourhood.

Although leadership came naturally for me since childhood, I still needed to “prove my worth” and fight off ageism biases at the workplace.  I can’t tell you how often I heard the phrase “you have plenty of runway in your career” whenever I was considered (and passed over) for roles.  In fact, believe it or not, a colleague once suggested that I “gray my hair” and wear glasses at the office, so that clients (and colleagues) would be more comfortable with me in a management role!  Yep …. in this day and age, where everyone wants to look younger and younger, I was advised to age my appearance so that I could overcome biases – conscious and unconscious!

ageism traffic light

With the blink of an eye, I have now gone from having huge runway (green lights ahead) to entering into the “tail-end” of my career (amber lights).  Have all those leadership attributes, hard work ethic, drive and creative thinking skills that I possessed not that long ago now expired?!  Nope, not at all … If anything, I’m at my prime, growing as a leader and learning new things every single day!  Yet, I find myself needing to omit dates on my resume and avoid references highlighting my 20+ years of experience …. Again, to battle biases and give myself a chance to demonstrate my capabilities rather than simply be dismissed because of my age!

Yes, I realize that ageism biases often come into play not because skills/capabilities are in question, but instead it’s a question of cultural (workplace) fit.  At the end of the day, it’s the TEAM that drives success, so most organizations “hire for fit, and train for skills“!   

I am going to digress for a moment and tell you a dance-story ….

Just over two years ago, I signed up for Ballroom and Latin dance lessons.  What surprised me was the diversity of students at the studio(s).  For those not familiar with Ballroom and Latin dancing – it’s not an “old persons” hobby!  There was a large number of students in their 20s and 30s (early in their professional lives), quite a few in their 40s and 50s (prime of their careers), and another fair-sized group aged 60 and over.  And while the diverse range of ages may have surprised me, what AMAZED me was that everyone at the studio is “blind to age” …. On any given day, you’ll see 30 year olds dancing with the 50 year olds, and the 40-somethings sharing a story with the 60+ and 20 year olds.  Everyone at the studio is united by a common passion and purpose: dance!  

Moreover, not only do we spend time together at the dance studio, but we’ve formed genuine friendships.  We’ve organized social events (on and off the dance-floor), hosted dinners, taken road-trips and vacations together, and supported each other in our various professional roles.

While most of you reading this may not be students of ballroom and latin dancing, I am sure you’re involved in book-clubs, meet-up groups and other hobbies where you interact with others of all ages, and relish in that “diversity of thought” with everyone coming away richer from having participated regardless of their age!

Why is it possible for individuals across generations to collaborate for a common purpose and passion on the dance-floor and outside the office, yet we face ageism in the workplace?!   It’s attitude and character of a person that define cultural fit, and not the date stamped on their birth certificate!  Bias busted! 

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are” – Anais Nin

Finally, diversity of thought is more important today than ever.  In this digital-age, where customer experience and ease-of-use trumps loyalty, it’s very important that businesses understand the needs and expectations of their customers.   As a female in my 40s, I shouldn’t be hiding my age to potential employers/clients, but rather the opposite.  Consider this … over the next decade, women (notably those 50 and over) will control two-thirds of consumer wealth and be beneficiaries of the largest transference of wealth in the history of America (with similar statistics in Canada).   Yet this same demographic – the very customer segment that most businesses will be battling for – are often cast aside by executives and recruiters on the notion of “lack of organizational fit”!   As Gord Nixon, former CEO of RBC, often said “diversity and inclusion is not just the right thing to do for an organization, but it’s more importantly the SMART thing to do for the organization’s success”!

Whether it exists as a conscious bias or unconscious bias, ageism is very real in the workplace.  We can’t “wish it away” or pretend it’s not there, but instead must face it head on!  And while I may be in that underdog position by virtue of my age …. I’m definitely still in the game!

“Life may not be the party we hoped for …. but while we’re here, we may as well dance” – Jeanne C. Stein

Care to join me for a cha-cha… ?  I will see you on the dance floor!  🙂